I received free passes to an advance screening of Astronaut Farmer and figured, "what the hell, free movie in advance. I'll take it." I proceeded to the theater, which was packed with children and adults of all ages. I settled into my seat and let the magic begin.

Astronaut Farmer is the story of Charles Farmer (Billy Bob Thorton), a man who used to work for the military, but was forced to retire to save his family farm. He dreams about going into the inky blackness of space, a place he has aspired to reach for a long time. So he sets out building a rocket in his backyard, which soon draws the attention of NASA, FAA, FBI, CIA, and the press.

When you go into Astronaut Farmer, be prepared to throw the laws of physics and logic out the window, as this one tries to be real, but suffers from a few flaws. First, the rocket is built in Billy's garage, which is made of timber. Timber would incinerate immediately on take off. Good idea? NO! The movie also pulls out the cliché handbook and takes an example from every chapter. The looming bad guys, the goofy sidekicks, the bank's foreclosures, the family tension, failing now and succeeding later, and poor jokes. The movie is entertaining enough, but there's something wrong with a movie that's 100 minutes and feels like 2+ hours.

Would I have purchased tickets to see this? No, but I probably would rent it on DVD. It is a good film for the family though, so on that level I'd say see it (the movie is rated PG). Or just wait until it comes to DVD and rent it for the family then. Fun movie, but only worthwhile in a family environment.

Since we've lived through the very beginning of commercialized spaceflight, the notion of an engineer and former astronaut trying to build a working rocket and space vehicle in his barn isn't that difficult to entertain, on one condition. The ATTEMPT makes for a good story, but so long as the film takes itself at all seriously, the man shouldn't be able to actually succeed. The first half of this picture is an interesting film about a man, Farmer, who is putting the finishing touches on a Mercury-Atlas style rocket, complete with capsule and what looks like a surplus Mercury project spacesuit (which he wears positively everywhere that he goes, much like a five-year-old carting around a favorite stuffed-animal). His family believes in him seemingly because it's more fun to entertain his fantasy than it is to rain on his parade, his neighbors are taking bets on whether or not he'll die much less succeed, the government is investigating him ever since he tried to obtain 10,000 gallons of rocket fuel (two awkward FBI agents are inserted for comic relief, and the FAA plays the heavy with threats to shoot him down) but no one except for Farmer himself authentically feels that he'll ever launch. Up to this point, the film is kind of like Fitzcarraldo with a booster rather than a steamship -- you don't believe he'll pull it off, but you keep watching to see just how he'll fail. And, had he actually failed, even if he'd given up after his first fantastic, life and property endangering horizontal launch, the film would have worked as an inspiring story about a genius with a crazy dream who knowingly bites off more than anyone can chew, but keeps right on biting.

Instead, the film changes direction mid-stream and crams so many suspensions of disbelief into such a short time that it looses whatever credibility that it may have spent the first half gaining. How would a man under investigation by the government for building his own rocket be able to obtain another junk booster for his second attempt? How could Farmer completely rebuild his rocket from scratch in such a short time period that his very young girls don't look noticeably older from project start to project finish? How would a barn and a house within walking distance survive the launch of an Atlas booster unscathed? How could a fifteen-year old boy single-handedly man both launch control and mission control for an orbital flight, AND maintain contact with a spacecraft on the far side of the planet without any help from relay stations over yonder? They go on and on. I guess the biggest question is, why did the writers of this film resort to such a cop-out as suddenly endowing their never-succeed-but-never-give-up main character with the Midas touch, when they've spent half of the film laying out all of the reasons that Farmer's dream really wouldn't work? Maybe they figured we'd have so much fun watching the thing go up that we wouldn't ask these questions. Maybe some watchers will.

If you set out to make a fantasy, don't ask us to place it in reality for half the film. If you set out to do a story about a man whose dreams get knocked down again and again, don't suddenly make him inhumanly successful at all he attempts. I liked the first part of this film, but to paraphrase a line from a more famous movie, Flying into space ain't like dusting crops. Depicting it as such takes more suspension of reality than I wanted to give this film.

The FBI, that is. Or at least, they will once you try to buy 10,000lbs of rocket fuel.

I was surprised to find, after watching this well-intentioned, but woefully dappy movie, that it wasn't in fact a TV movie. It pretty much screams out to be released straight to network, but no... it apparently had a theatrical release. Needless to say, that release did not go very well and is probably why we never saw The Astronaut Farmer 2: Shooting for the Moon, or any such similar sequel.

In terms of realism, it isn't very far ahead of that old 1979 TV show, Salvage One, which saw a junkyard owner building a ship out of old cars and going to the moon. Here, the main character builds a rocket... in a wooden barn... not fifty yards from his house.

Of course, realism isn't what this movie is about. It is all about the feels and the notion that you should never give up your dreams.

Now, normally, I'd applaud such sentiment, but when taken to the extremes that the titular character Farmer (played by Billy Bob Thornton) goes to - effectively bankrupting his entire family, I think the notion needs reigning in. Hopes and dreams are fantastic things, but one should never lose sight of one's immediate responsibilities. Farmer doesn't have a dream, so much as an obsession, and those are never healthy.

Of course, despite bringing the family to the point of destruction, help arrives in the timely death of the father-in-law, who leaves enough money to save the farm and rebuild the rocket after an earlier mishap.

Well... when I say mishap, I really mean certain death of the main character, Farmer. See, disheartened that nobody thinks his rocket will work, he makes an impromptu launch that goes horribly wrong. The rocket falls over and spends the next couple of minutes hurtling across the desert-like terrain with Farmer stuck aboard.

This rocket sleigh-ride isn't at all tense. It's actually quite funny, with the rocket hurtling through the throngs of news-crews surrounding the ranch without any fatalities in a Wile-E-Coyote kind of way, complete with a less than impressive CGI rocket and a totally not dead Farmer at the end of it.

Rockets don't generally fall over and not explode immediately. I might have bought it, except that the lower part of the rocket was actually below ground, so the fuselage would have ruptured on the edge of the pit as it tipped and... boom! No more Farmer.

Of course, it all ends well ultimately, with dreams fulfilled, farm saved, family happy and Farmer a celebrity. Like I said... a standard sappy TV movie. It isn't the worst thing you could watch on a rainy day, but there are better uses of your time.

SUMMARY: Ridiculous TV movie that wanted to play in the big leagues and failed. Not awful, but also not good. Confuses following your dreams with obsessive behaviour and has lamentable realism. There are better things to watch.