Let's be honest here: how many people looked at this movie, saw that it stars Michael Madsen and a rapper, and thought to themselves, "Well, Michael Madsen is a discerning gentleman who would never lead me astray. I shall endeavor to watch this unknown masterpiece posthaste!" Give me a break. It's a low budget, direct-to-video vampire movie. I don't know what people were expecting. Of course it's a bad movie. But it's clearly not the "worst movie ever made". I'm not sure which movie deserves that honor, but once you've sat through a dozen Troma movies, you can start talking about "worst movie ever". Until then, you don't have the right.

I was having trouble staying awake near the end of the movie, but I did make it. For that, I award three stars. I think it would be great fun to watch The Bleeding with Vin Diesel, if just to hear what Vin says about the cheesy wannabe in this movie.

This movie is hysterically bad. Michael Matthias who stars as vampire hunter Shawn Black is downright lifeless. His acting ability throughout the movie is borderline comatose. With his monotone voice and inability to deliver a performance that barely rises above a common high school play. One would think that with all his brawn, he could bring his physicality to good use. Nope! To make matters worse, the head vampire played by Vinnie Jones, has to be one of the dorkiest vampires ever filmed. He makes weird faces toward the camera and is about as scary as a wet noodle. My goodness, even the action scenes are boring! Combine that with terrible special effects, rapper DMX screaming, and a shoddy script. It certainly has plenty of shortcomings. I usually can find something redeemable in most films, but this is pure trash.

WOW!I don't know where to start and neither does this grindhouse movie. The film starts out with a Vin Diesel look-a-like, Michael Matthias as Shawn Black. He is driving a semi being chased by a gaggle of vampires. As one vampire attaches itself to the driver's side window, our hero says, "get down" as he pulls out a shotgun and blasts said vampire. The window doesn't break, but looks cracked. There is blood all over the outside of the window he just shot at. Later his shot gun sometimes works like an automatic weapon. Ed Wood, move over. I understand vampires aren't real, but we need to obey some of the laws of physics.

We now flash back 3 days, during which we also flash back to Afghanistan. I won't explain too much of the reasoning behind stuff as a lot doesn't make sense. Such as: 1) Vampires have a king that is born every 100-200 years. Their goal is to destroy mankind. 2) Vampires don't like silver bullets. 3) If you shoot a guy in the chest multiple times and he doesn't slow down, what makes you think you can punch him out?

Rachelle Leah is also in this film as Lena. She plays a tough girl who can handle her own. She is Maxim's 85th most hottest woman in the world. Michael Madson plays a priest who drinks JD, except for breakfast, which is made for beer. There is some Biblical stuff loosely scattered into the plot and rather badly. Cain is the head vampire that only "The Slayer" can kill.

Nudity, (Not Rachelle) groping, no sex. If you like bad grindhouse films like I do, give it a view.